My new way of ESCAPE

I'm lost. I need help. 

BUT WHY?

I'll telling you my history since the beginning:

My mom and dad were young-adults, without preoccupations, they were enjoying the great life they had. One night after New Year's Eve they wanted to "celebrate" it in a different way. My mom thought she wasn't in her fertile period and well... You know what happened. Weeks later she found she was pregnant and nine months after... Surprise, surprise. Another baby was in the world.

They gave me the life that all the kids dream. I went to parks, zoo, pool, beach and whatever, whatever. I was happy. Even after my brother's born. Usually the kids get really jealous of their younger brothers or sisters but I wasn't. I was that type of kid adorable, happy and sociable.

Now I'm older and I feel myself in shit. People always hurt me, change me, BETRAYS ME. How am I suppose to feel? Happy with everything? Sorry (not sorry) but I'm not. I can't be.

I'm sick of everyone in this world. Especially those who I thought were my friends. Shitty friends, that's what they are. Fucking kids. I'm always asking myself if this is supposed to happened. 

You're probably asking: why is this person so upset to his friends? What did they done?

I'm talking about one specific person: a boy. Not the guy I like, ugh, hell no. 

This boy, that I'll call P is a betrayer. We are friends since I remember. We went to school together since we're about three until now. 

He has been my best friend until two years ago. That fucking betrayer always gives me nasty eyes, push me and never talks to me (only for asks where the hell is his new friend, like I have to know). No one sees the person he is becoming, only I because I know him better than anyone. 

I never thought I could feel so discarded like a feel now. 

Of course he is not the only problem here.

My family is.

They never see what I do right, only the things I do wrong. My marks at school aren't bad but they make me feel like I'm a piece of shit and don't deserve be in this world. 

This is just a previous introducing of me. This is NOTHING. This is the less of my problems and I need somewhere to unload my anger and heartache.

This is my new journal. Where you can know what's going on on a teen mind.